Wednesday, November 26, 2008

THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS

THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Wolf's Version - with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.

‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the city
decorations were up but the sight wasn’t pretty
for although Thanksgiving was still barely here
all the stores were dressed up for the end of the year.

Sleighbells here, reindeers there, holly boughs all around
but nary a sign of Tom Turkey is found.
‘twas as though Saint Nick put the fowl in a hearse
and decreed to Thanksgiving, henceforth, Christmas comes first.

That jolly old Elf must have howled with a wail,
“That turkey interferes with our holiday sales”;
so we’re left with no choice but to conquer the bird,
and sing Christmas carols till no gobble is heard.

After all, a Thursday sale is but a single day;
whilst we need a full week to earn our full pay,
so out with old feathers, pilgrim hats won’t be seen;
we’ll pretend those props came from last Halloween.

We need to make sales and to keep our costs down
so you’ll see Christmas windows all over the town.
decorating windows twice; why that’s nothing but trouble
so we prefer Ho Ho Ho to Gobble Gobble Gobble.

Stores open late, tinsel sparkling with glee.
MasterCard, Visa – final spending spree.
but this holiday season’s no season for thanks,
while the Fed’s lending money to those reckless banks.

Our economy is in the toilet so let’s spend for Santa
and come New Year’s Eve we’ll share a pint of Mylanta;
for our holiday debts banks won’t be forgiving;
though the banks don’t need Christmas when they’ve got Banksgiving;

But there’s no sense resisting; we must accept our fate.
so Merry Christmas to all this November 27 and 28.

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